My Testimony

I was raised in church. I went every time the doors were open. I was "saved" when I was 6, but I didn't really understand what having a personal relationship with God was all about. I've been an aunt since I was two and never really had much of a childhood because I was always helping out with my sister's four kids. Me and my mom did not have a very good relationship, but an amazing women at my daycare became like an extra mom to me and I had a wonderful relationship with her. When I was about ten years old my sister's kids started staying with us at night while she was working. My parents didn't pay me a lot of attention and I began to feel neglected and unloved and started at an extremely young age my battle with depression. When I was twelve my extra mom dies of a heart attack, and it turned my life completely upside now. I hadn't realized how much of an impact she had on my life. Around this time I started self harming and turning against God out of anger. The past four  years have been a huge challenge. I've come extremely close to suicide, and have left many scars on my body. Last year I went to camp with my youth group and one of the discussions was about the masks we wear. After that lesson I got the courage to tell my closest friends and youth pastor about what was going on in my life. Since that week at camp I have been trying to stop self harming (it's been over a month since the last time!), but my relationship with God still wasn't where it needed to be. This summer I went to a different camp and it was incredible! I'm on fire for God and haven't lost my passion since we've gotten home. I haven't been this happy in a long time, and I give all the glory to God! I've learned that no matter what is going on you can not turn your back to God.